Hit or Quit?

After my most recent hit and miss with possibly the biggest loser I could ever hook up with, I am starting to feel a sense of power with every man I dispose of. It's almost addicting; with every "I can't put up with your shit" and "I don't have time for you" I feel as if I am only elevating my already heightened ego. Am I becoming heartless? I know thing for sure: I'm losing every sort of muse I ever had.

That was probably the worst statement I could ever utter. Clearly I am only inspired by my encounters with men. I refuse to be governed by any mishaps I may ever have with the Y chromosome.

Well what did I accomplish this Spring Break? I managed to get drunk beyond recollection, and hook up with some guy that I foolishly saw some potential with. At the time he was definitely just some guy. I was hesitant to reciprocate his feelings toward me because I was just grasping the concept of being single again. It wasn't until she came into the picture did I want anything to do with him.

Is that what it takes?

It takes someone else to want the person lusting after me before I get any affirmation that he's worth it? I never gave in, but she did. Not only did she give in, she begged, groveled, kissed ass, and sucked...up. Her annoying laugh at everything he said was more than I could handle.

So I'm sarcastic. I'm a smart-ass. My over-confident self believed that he still wanted me despite his drunken mistake with some bleach blond whale (I'm thoroughly convinced that she was once a nice girl, but that Peroxide can do some serious damage to the mind). I knew that his feelings for me were real, and that I'm way better than that pathetic girl. I expected him to call me, but what I didn't expect was for him to call me the next day. It's frightening, the amount of credit I give myself. I'm either irresistible, or he's a sleaze.

This is quite the predicament to ponder.

Update

A lot has been happening since the last time I was on here. First things first: I can't type as well because of my damn acrylics. Second: I've been a little frustrated with some things lately. Sometimes I feel like there's not enough love, but this change is just something that I would have to accept. It's just that adapting to such an emotionally challenging transition can be tough at times. I'm fine though. Happy even.

Happy is an understatement. Especially after what happened yesterday.

I got a puppy!

AND his name is Mika. He's my baby. Basically he's the only reason I decided to update haha.

The end. Until next time....

I don't know when next time will be. I hate being so damn busy. I WANT ME TIME.

The End.

Deception, Dysfunction, and Disappointment

So, again, jealousy combined with boredom, (courtesy of your sad life), has resulted in your moronic accusatory behavior. You make absolutely no sense. You would think though, that two heads are better than one, but somehow everything cancelled out and it all jumbled out incomprehensively in the style of an uneducated teenager.

The truth is, you can turn everything into something dysfunctional if you try hard enough. You can spend your days dwelling on all the ways we all screw up, or you can accept life's imperfections and move on to the good stuff. Can you not? I'm ready. I'm sick of deception and dysfunction coming from you. It's been with you for too long.

I know that you're not angry about anything, you're just getting tired of your life (or your lack thereof), so you stir old issues up in hopes of bringing some form of excitement into your life.

I genuinely pity you. I do...but I think now that we're in college, it would be a good time for you to let it go. High school is done and over with, is all that nonsense really worth digging up? I mean is your life really that pathetic? We've all graduated, most of us grow up and move on, while others just....don't...

It's sad, really, but what can I do? I can't do much because I don't care at all. All I can say is thanks for the laugh. But really, stop making such a fool out of yourself.

Small Talk is All Talk

People are mean. All they do is make judgments and don't choose to know the background story just so they can run with their lame assumptions. It's a whirlwind of gossip and it's gotten back to me.

It always has a way of getting back to me. And why me? Am I that interesting of a topic to discuss? Everywhere I go people always have something to talk about. Or at least I thought people always HAD something to talk about. This isn't higschool anymore guys grow up.

When I talk about someone it's because they're not around and I just express my thoughts then and there. And does it get back to them? Oh yeah, by me. I'm not afraid to tell someone I have a problem with them, in the end everything usually turns out better that way. Honesty is always best. The sooner the truth comes out, the sooner the pain subsides.

I understand it might all just be based off of jealousy and some of it is, but with that person I really couldn't care less what she says about me, she's probably hurt too and she needs to alleviate her sadness somehow. If she needs to bag on me and my personality that she knows nothing about then fine, I hope she's happy. I really do. However when it's coming from people I actually like it takes a different toll on me. This is coming from those I actually thought liked me. I thought you were my friends......This hurts guys. All I can say is: please stop. If not then, well I guess it was nice knowing you for as long as your honesty with me lasted.

You don't know about my relationships and what goes on in them so please stop making snide remarks and stupid assumtions. Remember that it's actually a human being that you're talking about, and in this case it's two and I happen to care about both of them so just stop. Thanks.