I have been so preoccupied with everything else around me, that I have forgotten to care about men.
In a nutshell: I'm too busy to care, and now some of us have become ostentatious with our barely-there "love lives" (I could elaborate for days on all the aspects of why I used "barely-there", but that would just be mean). Of course all the ugliness comes out during a seemingly excusable drunken stupor...I love spiteful conversations triggered by excessive drinking. It's like he's been holding in all of his bitterness for a good two months and finally decided to let it all out in one crude and obnoxious burp. It sounded like:
"I'm going to talk about how I'm seeing someone right now even though I'm not really sure if I am and I have a million fucking problems and I don't know how to deal with them so I'm just going to express them onto you and make you feel like shit like how I elaborate on how I miss her and she's so smart and I know that intelligence is something you greatly value so I'm going to go ahead and talk about that just to make you feel even more like shit because you left me hanging so I just wanted to make sure I get the last word no matter how immature I come accross as."
Lovely. It smelled like: bull shit.
You are not excused.
P.S. I am the most attractive girl he has ever dated.
Showing posts with label Breakups. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Breakups. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Erase and Rewind
"You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself."
I want to say I'm sorry, but I'm not sure if I'm the one at fault. I feel so tied down yet so extremely alleviated. I'm trying to weigh out which emotion is deeper. It's the only way to determine whether or not I would turn around.
But I hate U-turns. But I believe in second chances.
I'm so contradicting. I give myself a headache...but that could also be my sinuses.
I need to move to New York.
I want to say I'm sorry, but I'm not sure if I'm the one at fault. I feel so tied down yet so extremely alleviated. I'm trying to weigh out which emotion is deeper. It's the only way to determine whether or not I would turn around.
But I hate U-turns. But I believe in second chances.
I'm so contradicting. I give myself a headache...but that could also be my sinuses.
I need to move to New York.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
What I've Learned So Far
- Grudges, anger and complaints take you nowhere, so don't waste your time.
- Lying is a tendency, don't trust those that carry out even one.
- Everyone has a story, everyone. Get to know them first (really well) then talk all the shit you want.
- But keep in mind shit talking betters no one. Not them. Not yourself, not God. So save your breath, and instead teach the person a thing or two.
- Communication is is the key to a good relationship. Use it, and doors will be opened to greater opportunities, forget about it, and tension will lock you out.
- Time heals all broken hearts. Thanks for the lessons learned.
- Chasing wears you out. Don't do it. Ever. The one you're after is running in the other direction for a reason.
- Pursuing is different.
- Things end for a reason.
- Everyone is here to teach you something. Appreciate all.
- Stupidity is contagious, don't let it get to you.
I'm going on for too long. Let's just say that I've got a grip of lessons that I learned from this passed year. I've fallen on my ass, fallen on my face, fallen in love, and fallen for someone else. I've been beaten, broken, picked up, and healed. One thing's for sure is that help is always there when you need it the most. Always. It just depends on if you are humble enough to ask for it. I've shed my fair share of tears, and through it all, I am proud to say that it was all a good experience. So no hard feelings, I'm so much stronger and smarter, and the best part is, I get to share my advice with everyone who needs it.
As for my summer, it is coming along beautifully. It started off with my a surprise party thrown for me by my amazing friends. It ended with an unexpected guest who has stuck with me since. Best birthday party, best birthday gift, and best friends. I had the best time. haha BEST. I'm lovin' this whole flying solo thing, it's a lot of fun, but I don't know how much longer it's going to last. Cause I'm on a fucking good one. British Columbia is beautiful, but tomorrow I will be sleepless in Seattle.
- Lying is a tendency, don't trust those that carry out even one.
- Everyone has a story, everyone. Get to know them first (really well) then talk all the shit you want.
- But keep in mind shit talking betters no one. Not them. Not yourself, not God. So save your breath, and instead teach the person a thing or two.
- Communication is is the key to a good relationship. Use it, and doors will be opened to greater opportunities, forget about it, and tension will lock you out.
- Time heals all broken hearts. Thanks for the lessons learned.
- Chasing wears you out. Don't do it. Ever. The one you're after is running in the other direction for a reason.
- Pursuing is different.
- Things end for a reason.
- Everyone is here to teach you something. Appreciate all.
- Stupidity is contagious, don't let it get to you.
I'm going on for too long. Let's just say that I've got a grip of lessons that I learned from this passed year. I've fallen on my ass, fallen on my face, fallen in love, and fallen for someone else. I've been beaten, broken, picked up, and healed. One thing's for sure is that help is always there when you need it the most. Always. It just depends on if you are humble enough to ask for it. I've shed my fair share of tears, and through it all, I am proud to say that it was all a good experience. So no hard feelings, I'm so much stronger and smarter, and the best part is, I get to share my advice with everyone who needs it.
As for my summer, it is coming along beautifully. It started off with my a surprise party thrown for me by my amazing friends. It ended with an unexpected guest who has stuck with me since. Best birthday party, best birthday gift, and best friends. I had the best time. haha BEST. I'm lovin' this whole flying solo thing, it's a lot of fun, but I don't know how much longer it's going to last. Cause I'm on a fucking good one. British Columbia is beautiful, but tomorrow I will be sleepless in Seattle.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Out on the Line
As I sit here, numbly piecing my heart back together, I realize that I have a newfound appreciation for the lessons I have learned both this year and in the past. I've always held honesty in high regards. I know how important it is to be clean and straight forward, and although the truth hurts, it hurts a lot less if it was expressed from the start rather than being unveiled after a long period of misconceptions.
I was lied to countless times in many different ways and by many different people this year. So, although I did not realize it until it was too late, I was constantly taken advantage of. In order to realize the fallacy of a statement, you must first figure out the other side of it, and by doing so you are uncovering the truth. So yes, "the truth comes out sooner or later", but really, the sooner it comes out, the less of a prick you would look.
Not to mention it would definitely alleviate an immense amount of pain for the individual receiving the full blast of the hurtful truth.
It takes an idiot to chase an idiot. Don't do it. With the gas prices escalating at such a rapid pace these days, you need to invest your time and energy wisely; don't use up all your fuel. Soon you'll be running on empty and realizing how little everything is really worth when you're the only one actually trying. Take a second to stop and think, is it really worth paying the high price of losing your dignity, just to be let down in the end?
I was lied to countless times in many different ways and by many different people this year. So, although I did not realize it until it was too late, I was constantly taken advantage of. In order to realize the fallacy of a statement, you must first figure out the other side of it, and by doing so you are uncovering the truth. So yes, "the truth comes out sooner or later", but really, the sooner it comes out, the less of a prick you would look.
Not to mention it would definitely alleviate an immense amount of pain for the individual receiving the full blast of the hurtful truth.
It takes an idiot to chase an idiot. Don't do it. With the gas prices escalating at such a rapid pace these days, you need to invest your time and energy wisely; don't use up all your fuel. Soon you'll be running on empty and realizing how little everything is really worth when you're the only one actually trying. Take a second to stop and think, is it really worth paying the high price of losing your dignity, just to be let down in the end?
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